2 years huh??

It's been like 2 years since I last blogged...

SO why am I blogging now?
Disillusioned? Disappointed?

Nothing to do with personal life. Personal life has been going smooth.
Wife, parents and family all A-OK.

Work? Yeah work.
It's been ok.....last year was pretty hectic.
2013 has been ok.
In 2011, I was nominated for Outstanding PE Teacher of the year Award (OPETA).
Obviously I didn't get it. Criteria was, at least 5 years of working experience.
I only had 4 then...haha.

This year, I was nominated again. Shortlisted. Went for interview. Lesson observation. And then dropped. Disappointed.....honestly, I was.
I mean, hey, I didn't come into teaching to win awards....but in my opinion, if I am nominated, then I should go all the way.
It's either I am dropped in the first round......if not, I should go all the way.
Feels like playing football.......got through the first round, second round, third round and lost in the semi finals.
On a positive note, I was one of the final 12. I guess I can't ask for more :) Heads up.

Roller coaster year? Maybe......beginning of the year was pretty hard to accept as well.
After 2 years of being an LD, and the level graduated last year, wehn I came back to work, I felt "lonely".
No group to call mine. I had no level, no form class.....nothing.

And then the ups......CCA doing very well this year. The B Boys came in 6th in the National Cross. So many finalists for the National Track. Good achievements.
Student featured in yesterday's New Paper.

That's what I mean by a roller coaster year....ups and downs....

And worse is that I'm getting OLD....haha. Losing my fitness....getting my fatness......the joints can't take much pounding anymore. Gotta start the fitness regime again......


Tired,
RuDy

No freaking time...

Super duper hectic year....
Happy so far, but really hectic...

Falling sick by the day.......got to keep myself strong.
National X-Country next week...exactly 1 week.
No time to lose.
I am so involved in work...geezzzzzzz

Met Din a couple of days ago...yup Din my housemate in Sydney.
He's in Melbourne now...PR.
Everyone there is doing something different...
Taichiro's a translator (back in Tokyo).
Desmon's a model (some unicycle thingy....back in Sydney)
Din's in the printing industry in Melbourne....

If only....if only I had stayed there......life would be so freaking different for me.
A model? Definitely not...no looks....no height...haha.
Media industry....sounds so tempting....if only......sigh.
But no Rudy...you wanted to come back to Singapore. Yes...Singapore has been good....nice even. I've had many good memories....with my students mostly. And of course most importantly family. But I just wonder....if I could just see....just see what I would be doing now if I had stayed in Sydney after uni....and not come back home in 2003.

One thing's for sure, I would not be able to cope with the pace in Singapore now. I guess it all remains a mystery.....

I miss Sydney....I miss uni.....I miss Foundation year.....(though I don't miss some classes - those that I suck at where the bloody ang mohs dominate the class).

I miss my laid back life in Sydney......15 hours per week....and the weather...and Coogee Beach body surfing......*back to reality Rudy*

I miss 3H/4H, my 5 little devils, my lads......life.....life is like a box of chocolates.....you'll never know what you're gonna get.....Forrest Gump is so right...


Day-dreamer,
RuDy

New Year 2011...

Happy New Year....

3 Jan 2011.....a year has passed.
I feel so much older now.
Another batch of kids graduating....sigh. It's OZG's, Ishaq's, Arjay's and Sylvia's batch this year. I guess I won't see them anymore in less than a year.

New year's resolution...to help those who needs help. I'll stick to that.

It's going to be another long year. 2010 was great....I sure hope 2011 will be the same.

Make or break year....let's see if I'm up for it.

Oh well.......I'll let you know along the way.

Time to prep for a long year ahead....I'm out of here.

Looking-forward-to-this-year,
RuDy

GCE N Level Results...

Excellent....nothing more to say.
Why? Both top students were from my class.
Nasuha Bte Hussain and Joanne Leng with 5As. In addition, 6 other students - Hema, Jasmine, Yuen He, Meiting, Simone and Yan Ni had 4As.

Last year's top student only had 4 As. The results speaks for itself.
So freaking proud of these 4NT kids.
EL results - 90.1% passes....not bad huh?

I'll miss this batch most. Only because 4H is my dearest form class and 4G, I see them everyday for EL.

Geeezzz...can't believe they're finally out of school. A new phase of life in ITE.

It's times like this that keeps me going :)

I-need-motivation,
RuDy

It's getting harder by the day...

One minute you're up, and the next you are down.

It's just so hard. So roller coaster like.

I had a good birthday (I think).
On that very morning, I found out that my dearest Ms Nathan passed away. She was found dead at home.
http://sg.yfittopostblog.com/2010/12/01/innova-jc-teacher-found-dead-in-flat/
Rest in peace my dearest teacher.
She was my all time favorite teacher. My biggest regret, to not have spend more time with her after I started teaching. I guess Agus and I were her favorites....but..sigh.

Next day, I had my CCA Leaders camp. I lve them to bits. They sabo-ed me....with flour and whip cream. I'm a million percent sure idea was Sylvia's. Though I'm so damn thankful to have Sylvia. She's an angel (though not many people will agree).
I'm alright with that. It was after all for them to have fun. They bought me gifts...2 to be exact. A PINKISH PURPLISH G STRING (which I'm gonna burn) and an Arsenal replica jersey. Loved them. A bunch of angels.
Pics are on my fb.

On the first, they planned a bonding session for the juniors. Which was alright. I didn't want to butt in. Everything was done by them.

A bunch of responsible leaders - they'll go far.

My athletes...I really don't know. I keep on telling myself that I SHOULD NOT get too personal. I am so disappointed to see only ahandful turning up for training.
Aaaarrrrgggghhhh.....I can't be a social worker like this.

Maybe I should just be like those teachers who don't give a hoot about what their students are doing. Maybe then I'll live longer and won't be so stressed out.

Then again, it's occasions such as what my leaders put up which drives me on.

Please oh please allow me to sustain my passion and my drive for my students.

I will need to summon all the positive memories to help me through this period. Easier said than done....

Mentally tired,
RuDy

I'm tired...

It's times like this that I wonder if I have done enough...

Enough to inspire the future generation...
I tried, believe me I did....but I guess the outside/peer influence is so much more influential than I am...

I know that I can't change the world, can't change everyone...but those that I really feel the need to help/change don't seem to see it at all.
I put in effort/time/blood/sweat/tears...everything. It's just not freaking happening.


The only thing that keeps me going...for now is memories. Again, relivingthese memories....
I had my little devils who meant the world to me...Weiwen (arguably my favorite, yet the most volatile), Eileen, Feon, Sandi (the sweetest of them all who always seems so stable) and Cheryl.
Then it ended...
A new batch began, my fantastic lads - Guhan, Vikram, Edward, Ashwin, Raj, Ramarao.....again, they've gone. They were good....no great. Blood, sweat and tears...wonderful lads.

Now...I don't know who I'm working and striving for.

People always say, some students will do anything for their teachers.......I'll do anything for my kids.

I think I've done a lot. Have I not? I guess it is never enough.

Now who.....my athletes are no longer build like Raj, Guhan, Edward, Ashwin and Vikram anymore. These boys put in 110% in everything that they undertook. Perhaps I'll never have a batch like them again. Is my passion for my athletes dwindling? Or is it them who just doesn't want it as much as the seniors anymore....My consolation ozg, ishaq and raafik. I'm just glad that they are still wonderful boys.....

I have/had wonderful talented boys and girls now.....shahril, sharwin, iniyan (had). Ani, nazeera, huimin and camilah arguably could have been a fantastic four. I guess they don't have the passion....
I feel bad.....sad....disappointed even. So much hope was pinned on these 4....but nothing to even dream of now.

Emissaries.....Sylvia and Arjay keeps me going. I just feel it in them, that they would want the best for their peers. I see it in their eyes, I feel it in the heartbeat and I sense it when I talk to them. Again, I know it's just for a couple of years....they'll be out of the system in a year or so.

Then what? Back to square one.......

Start all over again? A new batch of students...

Now I understand why....I understand why teachers need to have a heart of stone.
Not easy to see my first batch of sec 4s graduate....4H was special. I'll miss them....

All over again...year in, year out. Emotionally draining.....I see why some of the senior staff don't want to bond with the kids....not easy.

Let's see how much longer I can keep this up.......


Tired,
RuDy

15 Sept 2010

Date: 15 Sept 2010...

Many things have happened since the last time I made an entry.

1) Kind of forget that this page existed...
2) No free time...
3) Lazy...

A bit of all....sigh.

Recalling....hmmm....

Latest event I can recall was the YOG....went to a few events. namely Track events (on 2 different sessions) and gymnastics (trampoline finals).

YOG was a blast. Had the opportunity to visit the Youth Cultural Village as well. It was a good experience. An eye opener I must say.

Went with the CCA Leaders.....good leaders they are. Lots of pics as well.....

Next up, Teacher's Day. Someting diff this year. We had a carnival like atmosphere....played some games (floorball/captain's ball/frisbee).

Very different this year.......*reminiscing last year*. I had an unbelievable one last year....with my devils coming to sch. I guess it's different now.

Do I miss them? For sure....

I was glad that Guhan, Ash, Raj, Jayan dropped by as well. They are good lads. I'm sure they'll remain as good lads.

Past couple of weeks? Oh ya, Hari Raya last